Bad ideaaa but should I talk to my [kinda transphobe] ex-bestie. Repost cause another got flagged idk why

I keep looking at him at school and thinking of him while crying my eyes out all night I even made a playlist for it. This hurts like hell! He was there for me all through the night until I was safe like he saw everything yet he stayed by my side. I just wanna talk to him again but I’m scared what if it ends up even worse than it already is? Or what if he hates me now? I think I might try to text him tomorrow and see how it goes,
GUYSSS its baddd I’m listening to astronomy, eating ice cream, crying, cuddled up with my shark plushies, and I have school tomorrow. If you told sep [2022] me that I would be this attached over him I would laugh and say “Over him? No way! He’s so annoying and weird like theres no way in hell I would be crying over him. I hate how he talks plus he’s ugly”

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This is the playlistttt I will be crying all night if anyone needs me